Scuffed Animal "Wishing You a Long, Protracted Illness" Bear
Soft. Cuddly.
Emotionally questionable.
This innocent-looking bear delivers a message no greeting card company would ever approve—and that’s exactly the point.
The “Wishing You a Long, Protracted Illness” Scuffed Bear is for those moments when fake positivity just doesn’t cut it. It’s dark humor wrapped in plush form, blending warmth with a brutally honest (and wildly inappropriate) twist.
Perfect for:
• Friends who appreciate unfiltered humor
• Inside jokes that should never be explained
• Anti-greeting gifts that hit way harder than a card
• Anyone tired of “Get Well Soon” energy
Complete with a soft plush body and a deadpan delivery, this bear sits quietly… saying exactly what it shouldn’t.
⚠️ Warning
May cause laughter, offense, or immediate questioning of your life choices.
Not recommended for workplaces, family gatherings, or polite society.
Product features
- Soft light-brown plush with stitched paws, nose, and friendly smile
- Removable white T-shirt designed for vibrant, crisp custom prints
- Black bow tie attached for a dressed-up look
- Compact seated size: 7" x 10" (17.8 x 25.4 cm)
- T-shirt handwash only; bear body made from 100% polyester with sewn-in label
| Teddy Bear | |
|---|---|
| Width, in | 7.01 |
| Height, in | 10.00 |
Teddy Bear
The Teddy Bear has soft light brown fur, round black eyes, stitched paws, a nose, and a smile. Comes with a black bow tie and a white t-shirt that is ready for custom decoration on the front. The bear is seated with outstretched arms
Removable t-shirt
The t-shirt can be removed at any time and hand-washed separately
Vibrant prints
The latest printing techniques provide bright and crisp colors matching your craziest designs
Spot clean the surface with mild soapy water and a microfiber cloth. Then, remove the soap residue with a warm, damp microfiber cloth. Let air dry. Use the same procedure to the t-shirt being careful to avoid rubbing the picture area..
Accurate shipping options will be available in checkout after entering your full address.
Any goods purchased can only be returned in accordance with the Terms and Conditions and Returns Policy.
We want to make sure that you are satisfied with your order and we are committed to making things right in case of any issues. We will provide a solution in cases of any defects if you contact us within 30 days of receiving your order.
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